Where do I start? I needed a place to let things out. I hope that this blog, or, if I call it what it really is – this diary on the internet, helps someone. I know I could have used one like it at several times in my life. I also need it to help me. That’s the truth.
Who am I? I’m Layne and these are my stories. (Thank you very much SVU). I am a black transman living in the Midwest. I started transitioning in February 2017 – I look, feel and most certainly act differently. It’s been a hell of a journey and it’s barely just begun.
I don’t think my journey has been typical but I also don’t think I’m special; I just think I had the wrong (or right) combination of things happen at the same time over the course of my 38 years.
It’s harder than I thought not to write this as a story – I’ll be organized though, I will talk about everything that’s happened to me and how I finally, finally became me. How I was brave enough to step up and step out – to look in the mirror and finally see what I should have seen all along. I’ll talk about when I came out as gay – and knew that didn’t feel right either. And about when I played my first college basketball game at Crisler Arena – and about the first girl (and boy) I kissed. The first time I cheated… on a person. And maybe I’ll be able to write about the exorcism my family put me through when they found out I was gay (maybe).
All of these things that happened played a part in who I am now. I believe that 100%. They are also a huge piece in my transition – the transition itself is a journey and so far, besides the raging anger that comes on like a wildfire, it’s awesome. That’s going to be at the heart of this – what it’s like to be a black transman for ME, how I got here, and really, firsthand what it’s like to LIVE through this.