I’ve been taking testosterone for two years now. Now is when I should actually start to really look different; I know that, I’ve known that since I started this process. That knowledge did not stop me from seeing changes daily, weekly and monthly. It didn’t stop me from my belief that I was DEFINITELY looking different. When I look at these pictures, I cringe sometimes.
I really thought I was doing something – but now, it has actually started to happen.
I was so convinced of the “sweeping changes” that I was seeing because of the way I felt and the way I was treated in the world. People I met for the first time or random people out and about addressed me with the right pronouns because that is what their minds told them to do. That is what they saw. So much of it for me has to do with the feeling I have now about myself. In general. I am much more comfortable just being.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t have worries or insecurities. HA! Of course I do – it’s almost worse now than before because it feels like there are so many more things to consider in my everyday life like:
- How do I come across when I speak – is it more aggressive than before? (because I guess I was already “aggressive”)
- Do I correct the person that just used the wrong pronoun?
- What is this person I haven’t seen in years thinking right now?
- How do I respond to the lady in the mall from the church I grew up in?
- Where is the closest bathroom that doesn’t suck to use?
These are just some of the things I consider on a daily basis.
Back to the difference a year makes – I’m happy with where I am for the most part. It’s time to start working out and really getting to where I want to be but overall, it’s good – great even.
Enjoy my stroll down memory lane.