This is an absurd, hurtful, ignorant statement to make. PERIODT.

To me, it doesn’t matter the situation or issue being discussed. It’s a problem that has plagued “church kids” for decades. How do I know? Because that’s how I was raised. In church all the time it felt like. I remember when I moved to LA in 2005 and my mom and grandma kept asking when I was going to find a church home. One day my dad called and asked if I found a place to go to church – I told him, “I’m churched out.”

And now, 14 years later, I’m still churched out and that phrase: God Doesn’t Make Mistakes is at the foundation of it all. That attitude in general is why I will do all that I can to never step foot in my childhood church again.

I remember coming home in the mid 2000’s and being in that adult stage where you’re on your own but your parents can still kind of tell you what to do and feeling like I had to go to church on Sundays. I remember walking in to judgement – and no, it wasn’t just me being self-conscious. I had nothing to be self-conscious about. I had short hair and was wearing pants and we all know what that means. I had been in that very same sanctuary before when the pastor talked about the need to be delivered from LGBTQIASDERTYMKO afflictions. (I think it’s funny that we keeping adding letters too. 🙂 )

To be fair – every single person there wasn’t judgmental – there were people that were happy to see me; loved me, hugged me and actually cared how I was. I was happy to see them too. Those are the people I feel bad for – must be hard to be an open, accepting person amongst the holier than thous. I see you though, I remember you – and I appreciate you!

Religion is a difficult subject; people can believe whatever they want to believe – you are free to do that for YOUR life. We are all free to choose and also to mind our own business. The issue I have with Christianity, in particular, is how aggressively some believe that their way is the only way and if you don’t agree, have questions or are different YOU are wrong. The overall “make people believe exactly what you believe and if they don’t, make sure to tell them they will burn in hell for eternity.”

I distinctly remember being afraid as a kid growing up of doing anything bad – (like listening to “worldly” music, swearing, kissing, talking back – you know normal stuff) what kid wants to go to hell? It sounded terrible – lakes of fire, tormenters, pain all the time, teeth gnashing (whatever that is) – so yeah, if my alternative was to get saved, speak in tongues and only listen to gospel music, I guess that’s my choice. Doesn’t sound that great either – but again, I already couldn’t swim and a lake of fire didn’t seem awesome.

This is all coming up because last night I saw a story out of the UK about a trans guy who had an incredible physical transformation. He was happy but going through life just like the rest of us – trying to figure it all out. It was a great story – I’m happy for him – happy that he had the courage to be who he is, proud that he’s trying to live his best life and then…

I looked at the comment section.

This is one of the reasons people are killing themselves. I am not wrong about not wanting to be part of this if this is what it’s about. Are you sure you’re doing it right? Because from all I’ve known, heard and learned, I don’t feel like Jesus would act this way. Believe what you want – but how does this person’s story affect your belief?

You don’t like it, (because the bible tells you not to) or understand it (because you haven’t tried).

My response to that: Ok, and?

These are just words on a screen but in real life, people really are going through it. People are being assaulted – killed. Nobody is perfect and guess what, nobody really knows what’s real and what’s not. Why waste time tearing people down in the name of religion? Whether you mean to or not.

I’ve been lucky, one side of my family is super religious and while it hasn’t always been easy and certainly isn’t perfect – I still have them. Some of them are conflicted because even though they really, really love me, they also really, really love Jesus. In many ways, I won – they just love me – in others, it’s still a journey. My story isn’t like everyone else’s – people are disowned and abandoned, shamed and sent to camps to be “fixed.”

I think it comes down to being a human – all I promote to young children is to work hard, try to be great and don’t settle. If it has to do with basketball, I hope I promote a burning desire to put in the work to be the best player they can be. I will also always promote to young children that they are worth it, loved, important and perfectly unique. I won’t promote treating people differently because of something I don’t understand, or that they should judge people or force their opinion or way of life onto them. No, I’ll promote love and decency.

To be clear – I am not a mistake nor am I mistaken. I am me – happy, healthy and always TRANSforming.